so i finally realized what i wanted to do wit this blog it needed to be about me and my life, i know that no one is probably going to read this but i think this can help get out emotions that i feel when i can't show them in the real world, that's the beauty of the internet i think. so lets see what going on in amber land right now.
well im going through a bit of a hard time at home, my dad and step mom(chrystal) are having some problems, shes hasn't been herself lately and its kinda tense around the house. i don't say much to her casue i feel like she jump right into yelling at me or something, we were never that close i wish it wasnt that way but but it is. to be honest I've always felt like she didn't like me to begin with but i think that my insecurities talking lol. i always strive for a mother daughter relationship because i don't have one with my real mother, but i do have one with my first step mom her name is Glenda, her and my dad got together when he and my real mom got divorced (i was only a baby) so she kinda raised me. she the closest thing I've got and I'm so thankful for her, but i always look for acceptance from the women my dad is with i don't why, but i feel like i didn't have a mother figure for the early part of my life. myself and Glenda only reconnected a few years ago when i move closer to where she was, i don't know i guess I'll just have to see how things turn out. i know that there are more important thing going on in the world other than my problems but theses thoughts always seem to invade my mind and it feels good to be able to put them somewhere other than just keeping it bottle up.
